``Wednesday, June 28, 2006``
i am okie.. why everyone thinks tat i am not okie??
very weird, i am okie.. but i also dunno why everyone thinks tat i am not okie? ok, partly, i am not very okie... but i also dunno the reason... just that i have no mood to do anything la... all i wan to is to sleep and sleep... or just sit there to scare at the sky la...
first, my classmate feels tat i am weird cos i am too quiet in class... then my parents think that that something is wrong with me... cos i am very quiet at home and didnt make a single noise... then my friend called me up and feel tat i am about to cry... a... okie la... i know tat i am quite noisy de... but dun need to say until like tat ma... haha..
well, maybe i just feel tat i have been too noisy in my class le... it is time to quiet down... and stay focus on wat i wan to focus on... =)
okie la.. i going to carry on with my project le... hmm... maybe i am just too stress with my project la.. should be able to get back to myself after this week... if possible.. tat will depend on my mind... and my flesh...
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``6/28/2006 10:27:00 PM``
``Monday, June 26, 2006``
wat are the feeling of all these?
1) what is the feeling of jumping down from a tall building?
2) what is the feeling of cutting your wrist?
3) what is the feeling of getting stabbed?
4) what is the feeling of getting knocked by cars?
5) what is the feeling of killing myself?
Just wondering wat is the feeling of after doing all these actions...
will you still be alive and continue your longsuffering or you will die and forget about everything on earth??!!
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``6/26/2006 03:19:00 PM``
England vs Ecuador - enjoy
ytd, went for service.. then after service cos i have something on, need to meet my friend first cos need to do something so i cant go for make up cellgroup... then actually, i told my usher ic that i am not serving de... but in the end, since i came back early so i went to serve lor since it is my group's duty.. then soo eng had her first usher trail ytd... then si jia decided to put me with her so that she dun feel so lonely la.. then after meeting my friend, i went over to lijuan's place... cos i meeting her to watch world cup at nite.. so went to her place supposed to help her take care of her niece... cos li jun going for camp.. then her mother not around... then play with her niece... after tat... her niece also tired liao.. so lijuan carried her to let her sleep.. cos her niece wanted lijuan to carry her.. then lijuan also ask me to go and sleep... so went to her room.. then lijuan also wanted to sleep...so all 3 of us slept on her bed... haha.. cos morning wake up very early so very tired ma.. then after tat, lijun came back to pack her bag for the camp.. so i was playing with her niece until evening.. then we went to bugis... for shopping.. and buy something.. then came back after a while... we went to the food court and sit there to wait for the match to start at about 9pm.. abit siao la.. so early.. haha..
then there were 2 indian or malay guys sitting at the table beside us... before the match.. they have been looking at us.. and during the match.. when we talk, they will turn to look at us then smile at us... we felt very irritated lor.. then lijuan say that maybe we are the world cup so they are watching us.. haha.. anyway, after the match, we left there very quickly then went back to her place to sleep... cos today my school term is going to start then she also working today ma..
okie la.. need to concentrate in my tutorial le.. btw, i got back my Data Base common test paper le.. i got a B.. hee hee.. not bad la.. =)
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``6/26/2006 10:13:00 AM``
``Saturday, June 24, 2006``
SLS RoX!!
just came back from SLS(Student Leadership Seminar)... well, made great friends there... and wonderful people and of course, i learn alot of things.. =)
let's get on to the bus... got to know this gal Esther... who happened to sit beside me on the bus... then after tat... when we reach Sofitel, we are supposed to go to the ballroom where there are alot of tables and we are going to sit in the room la.. then she sat with me.. then Hui Qi and her friends came to sit with us also... then after tat, Vivian and Wen Lin came to sit with us.. then we left with 2 seats... so i hold it for Fu Kang and Zi Wei lor... then we had alot of fun and got to know each other better as the day goes by... then we put a tag on the table with our names on it... haha.. and name it OUR TABLE...
SeeHui - Life Guard Club
Vivian - ICT Society
Esther - Photography Club
Hui Qi - Volleyball Club
Vanessa - Napfa Society
Wen Lin - Netball club
Chuan Tiong -
Chin Wei -
Fu Kang - Volleyball Club
Zi Wei - Napfa Society
then after lunch, we are been split up into groups so that we can discuss on our project for the presentation... then we met many friendly and funny people once again... then after tat, at nite, we meet up to continue the discussion.. then after tat, we chit chat and talk about army ghost stories.... haha.. then when we wanted to go back to our room to sleep.. we saw see hui and vivian at the pub.. so esther and i went back to our room to bath first then we came down to look for them.. then we drank cocktail.. then after tat, the guys ordered 3 buckets of beers la.. cos it is cheap ma.. 5 bottles for RM55 only.. then after tat, we went to hui qi's room... cos fu kang and zi wei also a bit high le.. after playing the game " chai quan"... then later chuan tiong and chin wei came over also... then they bought beer over again.. then we play "chai quan" again.. and loser will have to drink the beer la.. then in the end, all of us drank quite alot... haha.. but we felt okie la.. at least this morning still can wake up okie...
hmm... today, nothing much la... but i can say tat i did not regret going on this trip la.. cos it is meaningful and enlarge our circle of friends... tat the most important thing.. and guess wat, huiqi and chuan tiong is also going for the Laos trip... wow!! the moment i reach singapore, i on my phone and wow!! there were so many sms la.. so some i replied, some cos quite long le.. so dun bother about it... then i actually dun intend to call anyone cos i was too tired, lazy, dun wish to let people know i am back... but juan happned to msg me something tat sounded serious... so when i call her back.. then i realised it was nothing... -_-''' so she became the first to know tat i have reached singapore already... haha.. then next is my parents and.......
okie la.. i going to enjoy my world match le.. bye bye.. i will update the photos for this the moment i get them... =p and forgot to add.. i am going for a camp again this coming friday... wow!! interesting life.. tat's me!! camps, enjoyment...
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``6/24/2006 11:43:00 PM``
4S5 usher ministry outing photos
hey guys... long awaiting.. my usher ministry photos are out.. =) here are some of them...
(on the left: Jeffrey, William, (forgot name), dennis,)
(on the right: me, jul and sister hui ming)
this time we have Ray in the photo with us...
now, si jia is with us... oh mine!!! Si jia can really eat... need 3 of us to feed here..
me and Rachel... cross spoon!! =p
4S5 in swenson... after our dinner... we had steamboat for dinner...
left with the survivals who stay on to the end...
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``6/24/2006 11:20:00 PM``
``Tuesday, June 20, 2006``
4S5 usher ministry outing
ytd.. we had our section outing for our usher ministry... it is also my first time going out with them and we really had a lot of fun... and gt to know more people who are from our section de.. we went to bugis to eat steamboat... we make alot of jokes and were actually kind of shooting each other... but it was a enjoyable day... then after tat we went to swenson to eat ice-cream... then Rachel paid for it... she treat us de.. haha.. wow!! before we went in, we were acting as though it was service time.. then Ray said.. sorry for the delay, the door is now open.. cos the time was 9.15pm.. then door always open at 9 de ma.. haha.. then Rachel added, how come the door open so late today... then we said.. go in and the customers, we are starting soon so pls give up your reserve seats nw.. haha.. full of funny things la.. then we also celebrated Rachel's birthday too.. then we gave her a few shocks ytd.. by the things we done... actually Ray wanted to sabo Rachel de.. but then cos Sister HuiMing is there... so hmm.. we decided not to do it.. cos she also dun wan us to do it... haha.. okie.. then we left Bugis at about 10.45 like tat... i miss my first match of World Cup for the night.. but.. i am still able to check my second match.. haha.. we also took quite a number of photos... hmm.. think when i get from Rachel le then i shall upload here..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``6/20/2006 10:45:00 AM``
``Saturday, June 17, 2006``
The enjoyment of World Cup 06
a... i just reached home and had a good bath le.. haha.. ytd, in the afternoon, went to watch the movie R.V with winnie then after tat i went over to lijuan's place downstair to practice guitar while waiting for yuhong and gerry to come... then we had cg as usual... yup.. nothing really special la... then after cg... we fellowship for a while... then after tat, when everyone going home le.. lijuan and i went to meet shirley cos we meeting her to watch the World Cup match at lijuan's place downstairs between Argentina and Serbia and the score was 6:0 at full time... wow!! haha.. they are great la.. the game was really interesting... and you know wat? playing the game with so many people, good thing is everyone is kind of shouting together and enjoying... even if we dun know them but it is a kind of enjoyment... =) if you were with us last nite.. then you will understand wat it means..
HUH?? it is another GOAL??!! oH nO!!
now wat? how bad could this be? we are 6 goals behind and you are giving a red card to send me off the field??? =(
then after tat, we sent shirley to the bus stop cos she going home le.. then lijuan and i went back to watch the second match which is starting at 12am.. it was between holland vs Ivory Coast... at first lijuan and i were supporting holland.. but not sure since when, she support Ivory and I support Holland so in the end, both of us are hoping that the other party will lose the ball.. haha.. it was a fun time watching with her.. had a great time of fellowship... =) yeah! with there are also many people watching and everyone was like screaming when there is a goal.. cool!!
let's take a look on how the first goal went in for Holland who is wearing the orange jersey
although they enjoyed the game.. and lost the game.. some gt injured during the game which costs them might not be able to play for the next game.. sad rite??
anyway, the full time score was 2:1
after the game, we went back to lijuan's place to sleep... we chat until about 3am then both fall asleep until morning when we started to hear Daffodil crying... so both of us woke up... this morning, when i woke up, i realised something... even when you are tired... but when you see the smile of the baby when they look at you.. it kind of brighten up your day.. haha.. 
see... she is so smart.. know how to sit on her own le.. and dun think she is very old.. she is like only 7 months lor.. =)
then after that, i went for bs... then after bs.. went back to play with her for a while... and finish watching the show before i left juan's place.. okie.. end of the post for today.. i going to sleep le.. very tired.. need the energy so that i can watch today's match at home.. hee hee..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``6/17/2006 02:11:00 PM``
``Monday, June 12, 2006``
POS Appreciation
hmm.. this morning.. went to meet susan to buy all the stuff to fry the rice for pos appreciation today in school at our usual place... hehe.. tat room seems to be my second home lor.. then after tat meet karen... then went to susan's place to fry the rice... then susan's mum help us to fry the rice... but then we also help to cut the ingredients la..
this is the outcome of our fried rice... nice rite? =)
then after tat, we dunno wat to do.. so in the end, karen, susan and i went into susan's room and started to listen to songs and started to take photos.. hee hee.. these are some of them:
Me and Karen... our product...
it is us again... hee hee.. okie la.. enough of the 3 of us... there will be more to come soon..
then we went to np is about 3 something.. then we started our appreciation at about 5 plus... then i gt a award also.. "silent motivator" and "fire" award.. haha.. then albert came up to me in front of everyone... then he told everyone about me la.. haha.. then i was also kinda of shocked tat he knew wat happen... haha.. then we also gave albert a surprise... and we gave janice some cash that we all have chip in... cos she lost her wallet and alot of things... so we just wan to do something for her... as she has really done alot of us during the period of POS.. then after tat, we went down to play soccer with the brothers... haha.. and we had some serious talk among ourselves on the up-coming events and everything la..
hmm... really had a enjoyable day with them... just feel tat, they have really made a impact and difference in my life... to grow...
but then still gt other things tat i am trying to make myself not to think la... cos wait until the time comes when the thing happen le.. then decide wat to do ba... haha.. someone said that i am tortoise la.. haha.. whenever i have a problem which i cant solve and dun wan to burden people with my problems.. i tend to shut myself up and go swimming or wateva that i will try to make myself forget my problems... haha.. hmm... maybe this is true... but then the person of course also would wan me to promise that if there is anything that is going on, i have to let the person know... well, dunno... see how things go ba... i shall leave everything to God, he will guide me and lead me the way He wants me to go. =)
okie la... i going to continue to watch my world cup le... good nite..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``6/12/2006 11:57:00 PM``
``Sunday, June 11, 2006``
World Cup - England vs Paraguay
England
Paraguay
hmm.. at 4th min... Paraguay had a own goal.. so sad rite? so in the end, the team that i wanted them to win(england) won.. hee hee..
England vs Paraguay - 1 : 0
they are just simply great...hee hee... hmm, actually i also dunno wat to talk about them... i going to watch my next match of world cup.. cya.. =)
Jesus just simply love me!!
With him, all things are possible!! And i know he will be there for me for wateva that is happening in mE!! Put all your trust in Him..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``6/11/2006 12:20:00 AM``
``Saturday, June 10, 2006``
am i spoilt??
haha.. i just feel tat sometimes i am spolit... today, i just gt a new tv.. my dad bought a 40'' LCD tv set... haha... wow!! today, i will be using it to watch the WORLD CUP - England vs Paraguay... who will win??? hee hee... my dad has been trying to provide us with the best which causes me sometimes to feel very spoilt as i get most of the things i wanted most of the time...
haix... how can i change in this part of my character... God, i want to change... i dun wan to be so pamper so much...
then recently, my dad bought my sis some cd which cost up to almost $170... and i kind of gt jealous.. but i dunno for wat la.. then in the end, my dad gave me $100 to buy the cd tat i wanted la.. but then my cd doesnt cost so much.. hmm.. maybe i should bless someone with wat i have left?? hee hee.. =p or i will save them up.. for future use...
today, my dad send me for bs again.. hee hee.. so i didnt have to wake up so early especially after catching both the World Cup 06 matches this morning.. the match at 12am and 3am.. haha.. okie la.. gtg le.. need to go for dinner with my family.. at Thai Sharkfin restaurant.. if gt time.. i blog tonite.. =p
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``6/10/2006 05:55:00 PM``
``Thursday, June 08, 2006``
too many things happening recently
haix... i am starting to feel lost... there are too many things happening in my life recently... i just feel tat i am moving to my past then i really need to shut myself off the world for a little while to cool myself... and maybe hide from the problems i have...
firstly, there are some things that are going on.. but i wont tell you wat happened... so it is for me to know and for you to find out..
secondly, my grandfather is going for a liver operation soon.... and i am kind of worried cos he is already like 86... haix... and he has been very tired for the past few days... but today, when he saw me... he ask me when will i graduate? then i told him 2008, he is okie... he will make sure he pull through and live until i graduate from poly... everyone is putting hope on me... becos my grandparents love me the most and thus, my presence will always make them smile... then my grandmother started to feel very weak... nw, even normal veg, i also have to use a scissors to cut smaller piece for her so that she is able to eat... it is heart-breaking...
there are too many things for me to think le... until i dunno wat to do... wish i can just lose my memory and forget all the sad things... haix..
world cup 06 is coming... but i just dun feel the atmosphere this year... maybe partly, we are all busy especially when i am in poly nw, and have my friends... plus, 4 years ago, i wasnt a real regular in church yet... but this year, think i will watch world cup alone in the middle of the night... cousins who are also watching with me are nt in singapore... one is australia, one is sweden, my uncle is also in australia.. another one is in US... they are all over the place... how to watch together like in the past... plus, my parents are also settling alot of my grandfather's admission to the hospital... arr...
shhh.... i just wan to be quiet and listen to the sound of the wind... and sound of the water... it will be the best place to be.... and swim as there is no ending... run like been chased by the dog..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``6/08/2006 10:48:00 PM``
``Tuesday, June 06, 2006``
Disappointed with myself today
i am really disappointed with myself today... nw, confirm i will fail 1 paper le... i cant even write such a simple program... in 1hr 45mins.. wat is wrong with me?? i really dun wan to repeat this module... i took this module is becos i need to take 2 electives.. if not i will not take this module de... haix... how how how???!!!! looks like chances of me retaking this module is also quite high...
God, i really need your help!! really felt lost in my studies in poly for the first time... it really spoils my mood for everything... but still life have to go on.. sometimes, i juz feel tat i am good for nothing... doing things need to depend on my mood... then how am i going to survive??
nw, i left with 2 papers... if i still dun pull up my socks... i think i will have to repeat lor... i wan to finish my dip. in 3 years... i dun wan to take extra half sem to complete... when will i wake up from my dreamland... if i still dun wan to buck up, i will definitely not going to make it....
i simply need to wake up right nw at this hour and start doing wat i am suppose to do!! dont only think of enjoying... that not wat you are brought into this life for... why cant i grow up and be more mature in my thinking??
i dunno wat to say about myself but i know tat i am very angry with myself now... and i simply disappointed with my test today... becos it is a open book so i should score but instead only 1 button in my program can work... wat rubbish is it??? i really need to go and close myself up and reflect in alot of things... okie.. dun talk to you le... i need to prepare then go and meet the rest to celebrate shirley's birthday today!
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``6/06/2006 03:26:00 PM``
``Monday, June 05, 2006``
E M E R G E 2 0 0 6
these 4 days, i have enjoyed the emerge 2006 and of course... i have grown also.. to really leave everything to god and trust him... in the 6 sessions, the presense of god is always there... whether i am serving anot... and i really thank god for the strength and energy that he given me throughout.. as i am sick but i still serve becos i know that i am serving the son of the living god...
1st day of emerge: -
sat with all the np as it is POS... and we are all so high.. haha... really cheering for our school but then well, it was a pity tat i wasnt up there.. haha.. anyway, nothing much.. on the first day to really talk about..
2nd day of emerge: -
in the morning, i dun need to go to school so i went to church and i was serving.. the message is one of the message that we heard before le... then at nite... actually supposed to sit with cg.. but then becos there was not enough seats for our cg.. so juan and i went to sit with kin sung.. at the place where he thinks that the eye view is so nice.. haha..
3rd day of emerge: -
in the morning... went to expo to do support duty.. then i left at about 12 la.. cos i meeting lijuan and kin sung to watch X-Men III.. then after tat, then we went for service... haha..
( sorry ar.. cos i cant really remember wat happened on the 1st 3 day as there are too many things le... haha.. and there are too much to write le..)
4th day of emerge(last day): -
today, in the morning, i was serving... ya.. then after tat went to tampines to meet lijuan cos they wanted to buy shirley's birthday present... then after tat, went back to expo for the finale service... then i sat with all the np... we went high until we felt giddy after all the yelling, screaming and shouting.. haha.. of course, we really enjoyed ourselves... and disturbing one and another... and playing together la.. then after the whole emerge ended, we took pictures and of course, we went round hugging each other... cos we are really going to miss each other... haha.. then we also mass hug albert... and found out his weakness is tat he is afraid of tiggle.. haha.. then after tat, went to find shelin and jia yan.. then stay with them for a while before i went to take a cab home cos i was really very tired le... then pastor also said tat our custer has resurrected.. haha.. cos for the 2nd and 3rd day, we were the last.. and today we rise to the 6th position.. haha.. that is great rite??
i believe NP will do better next year!! we sure rock the teritary custer.. okie la.. i need to go and spend some tim with my best friend le.. good nite..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``6/05/2006 01:06:00 AM``
