][..Memories that lives in the heart..][

``Friday, March 31, 2006``

commitments

this morning.. as i was taking 154 to ngee ann... i was thinking about alot of things... and sms that i have received... things cant be done if you are only doing it yourself... then i thought of the committments that i am holding currently... it is far too much tat at times, i find it hard to breathe when everything comes together... bi liang and huey bing has told me the same reason for not committment into npcc... and it is also part of my reason... yet.. i dunno why i juz be like them... giving up my passion for God... i really dunno how much energy and strength i can hold on... my committment in ngee ann has doubled since i took up the post as a Secretary in my club... and npcc has also taken alot of my time... and at times, i still have to choose between Napfa Society or NPCC... or NPCC or God... i really tired le... i juz need a small break... but i cant have a break nw... the amount of effort and time tat i have put it, i dun wan it to go into the drain at the end of the day.. tell me wat to do?? but i know tat many times, i refretted coming back as a WCI.. with the numerous discouragement i get, unhappiness i get, i really cannot find a reason to lie to myself that my heart is still 100% belongs to npcc already..

many things are happening... wat is my decision?? everyone could look at my situation differently, i know many of you will ask me to hold on... likewise many of u will ask me to let go... so wateva you read here.. it is my problem.. dun take it to heart... i know, i will get my answer soon...

hmm... to my fellow friends, i dunno if you ever read my blog and i know some of you do... sorry, if my words and feelings hurt you... if you know me well enough, dont try to come and talk to me..cos you all know well enough tat i will not say anything except keeping them to myself so dun ask me wat happen.. thanks!! plus you will not like it when knowing tat a volcano is about to erupt and yet, you still step forward...

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/31/2006 11:49:00 AM``

``Thursday, March 30, 2006``

tell me

WAT DOES THE WORD HOME MEANS???

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/30/2006 11:30:00 PM``

passed my Basic Theory Evalution

ytd.. in the morning... went to bbdc cos i was taking my BTE test... hmm.. the questions are quite easy but the answer that they gave was a kind of tricky.. and in order to pass... we need 90% of out 100%.. and guess wat my score?? I gt 96%.. haha..

then went down for npcc training... haha.. but ytd.. i was a slacker... i was juz sitting in the npcc room... then let the seniors take over the training.. hee hee..

after training... i rush off to PS to meet my club committee members for a meeting... then i saw doreen there also... haha.. happened to sit the table beside us only... we are coming up so many activities... and it is also a good chance for me to get to know more people... especially... when ngee ann CCA Fiesta will be held on 21st April... need to do lots of preparation... and we are also going to have a camp.. hee hee... then we can get to know members in our club better... looking forward to the upcoming CCA Fiesta... =) then after meeting, we went window shopping... haha.. then i also dunno when we change topic about clubbing... then talking about MS and MOS.. suddenly, Ivan said.. MOS?? you mean MOS Burger? haha.. everyone burst out laughing... then Jin Xiu was telling us tat she wanted to go MOS and take a look but her friends suggested her to go One Night Stand.. then she was shocked... but later then she realise tat it was actually a pub... haha.. all of us had fun ytd.. okie.. maybe i will blog tonite again if i reach home early.. going out le.. bye bye..

to all my frienDs, HaVe A GrEaT DaY AHEaD!! yeA!! =) tAKE CaRE!!

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/30/2006 10:06:00 AM``

``Tuesday, March 28, 2006``

leg hurts

hmm.. woke up this morning.. and realise tat my lap top gt problem.. haix... so dun have the mood to eat.. so didnt eat breakfast and lunch... then after tat.. about 1pm.. my dad came back to fetch me... to go and meet lijuan to settle somethings.. then i went down to acer with my dad to repair my lap top and hearing wat happen to my lap top, i realise tat i was stupid... the reason is becos there was dust struck at the switch causing it to have problem... oh no!! haix... anyway, after tat i went for lunch with my dad then he send me back to church cos in the end, i decided to go for POS practice cos dunno wat to do ma.. haha..

my leg really hurts now... we kept practicing the cheer and we came out with the whole cheer le.. and all the steps le.. now is to make them perfect and move on with the dance steps... wow!! so much to practice... hmm.. anyway, then after tat, went to KFC to eat with Susan, Eugene, Doreen, Jie Yi, Raid... we went talking and fellowshipping.. then we were talking about how they wan to bring ngee ann chc up.. and i realise tat Brother Aaron was Eugene's uncle... haha.. wat a small world.. oh ya.. then they were talking about going to mission trip together in August when we are having our sch holiday... hmm... if wan to go... need to start saving nw... but also dunno if they are really keen.. haha.. see how first la.. now only march, still gt all way to august... hee hee.. okie la.. i shall end here... cos need to study for my Driving Theory Evalution... wish me luck =) take care, my friends!! GOd bless you all!!

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/28/2006 08:52:00 PM``

``Monday, March 27, 2006``

1st day in Usher Ministry

okie... had to wake up very early.. like 5.30am and by 6am... i already left my house... wow!! very early rite? okie... then reach church about 7.30am.. then i went to find Sister huiming... then gt to know the people in my section and team... ya.. then after tat, we had our briefing and prayed for the svc... before we are dismissed to go and take our section and do the necessary things.. like putting the bulletins.. collecting things... and chairs are arranged... today, i was asked to do with jingxuan.. so had a fun day... although it was tiring but enjoying... except that not able to enjoy praise and worship only.. *sobs* hmm... good job!! my zone... all the seats are taken up so dun have empty seats.. he he.. then went to do recycling after tat... then met up with juliana for lunch... cos my cg is in bedok and hers is in PS... so we ate.. and went for metro shopping at expo.. until it was about time to meet shi en to go parklane then i left... =) okie la.. tat all for my day today, good nite.. and sleep tight...

P.S: to someone who will read my blog.. rest well..

GoD, i pray that you will take the pain away from her so that she can concentrate in work... and she will be able to sleep well. Amen!

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/27/2006 12:15:00 AM``

``Sunday, March 26, 2006``

deep thoughts part 2

Many things on earth are beyond explaination... i know that all the obstacles that are happening in my life right now is a test from God of my faithfulness... no matter wat, i have to go on.. to step out of the LINE..

Trust is something tat people who want to get from each other... but there cannot be trust if people are not willing to improve the friendship between one another

Hope is something tat everyday we are wishing for... but how many hope can be fulfill... and how many hope are crashed becos of certain people and certain reasons?

Love people is easy... but to really using your heart to feel the friendship and love the people can be hard at times when one party is not trying hard to keep the friendship going... but instead has accidentally destroying it slowly...

Faith is wat i need to believe in God for everything that there is a way out and God is going to guide me through these things...

Lastly, I wan to thank God for placing wonderful people in my life to teach me... talking to me to change my mindset on certain matters... always encouraging me... how open up to people and not waiting for others to approach me.. loving me... guiding me..

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/26/2006 11:36:00 PM``

Deep thoughts

TRYING

People who understand me & my feelings will understand this word... people who dun understand me will not understand wat this word mean to me?

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/26/2006 11:16:00 PM``

``Saturday, March 25, 2006``

compensated BiRthDay DiNNeR

hmm.. my dad brought us to this place for dinner at the top of the hill... at jurong.. it is a tepanyaki restaurant... is your saliva dripping already?? haha.. hmm.. okie.. let me show you the place...

now, let me show you the cook tat cooks for us... and of course... my food.. hehe...

(Cooking for us to eat.. see his skills)

My food for the night... and more... haha.. this is only some of the food i ate tonite.. =)

(salmon) (prawns) (beef)

then after dinner.. we went to the top to breathe some fresh air and to digest our food... then as i was there... many happy and sad memories came back to me.. when i was in sec 5 and my gang used to go up and spend some time there... i miss those times... but anyway, i enjoying now...

This is the place where we used to walk... sit down chit chat... lot of arguing here... happiness here too... this place has brought many of us many unforgetable memories... even though they may not bad... but this place was once our favourite hang-out or after sch hangout... and we like it when it is at night... although this place is very dangerous as there are few people only....

See.... isnt the place nice??? all the lighting.. wat izzit like when you are at the top of the hill... looking far...

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/25/2006 10:30:00 PM``

2nd time playing for Cellgroup & a surPrIse fOr ME!!

hmm.. today, i was tat nervous as the first time.. but of course.. there are still some fear... and my hands were kind of numb... due to over practicing of guitar.. i think... so i was afraid that i may not be able to press the string hard enough.. but thank God.. everything went smoothly.. juz tat.. i kind of lost my beats today.. hmm... there are rooms for improvement.. jia you!!

then after cg.. we went 5th floor for fellowship.. hee hee.. had bananarama... hmm.. wat that?? means most of the things tat we are eating has banana... haha... quite fun... then after tat dad called up... so need to go le.. cos they wan to bring me for dinner.. to compensate tat he wasnt able to celebrate my birthday... then when i was about to leave.. while still playing with Dafadil.. suddenly lijuan pass her to me and say it is my birthday gift.. haha.. then cg sang me a birthday song... haha.. and they also gave me a PMK shirt... but it was also a surprise plan by them.. and the buying of shirt is a surprise done by kun, jasmine and yuhong.. cos on that day, they were talking about buying a gift.. then after tat, they are thinking wat to get for her... and yuhong also talk to me... in the end.. actually, the gift is for me.. from the cellgroup... haha.. great plot.. haha.. =) then we also sang birthday song for Kun - my guitar shi fu.. haha.. had lots of fun today with cg... and baby Dafadil.. hee hee..

this is the shirt they gave me..

(this is the front view)

(this is the back view)

nice?? thanks W221.. yea!!

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/25/2006 09:37:00 PM``

``Friday, March 24, 2006``

Results out today, =( or =)

hmm.. this morning woke up at 6am juz to go back to jss for the sports day.. and to go back to see teachers of course.. but i think almost every week.. i going back.. haha... anyway, meet kw and izwan for mac breakfast since they also feel like going back since they have nothing to do... hmm... then about 9 plus.. i receive a sms from ngee ann... on my results... should i be happy or sad about my results? i also dunno... although there are modules that i did better... but also gt modules that i didnt go well... hmm... wat are my results??? dunno.. ask me and maybe i may or may not tell you.. haha..

anyway, tis year...
Ai house(Love) - champion 1st
Qin house(Industry) - 2nd
Zhong house(Loyalty) - 3rd => my house *sobs*
Cheng house(Sincereity) - 4th

and this year the cheering house goes to Cheng house.. oh no!! wat happen to Zhong house this year??? haiz... nvm.. i am only a ex-student to the school now.. cant do much also... anyway, then after tat... we went mac.. then chin lim came.. then zhan hong and sin hwee came also.. so in the end.. we started to crap about alot of stupid things la... haha.. lame jokes and those things tat we normally will not say de.. haha.. okie la.. time to go and practice my guitar le.. cya.. nitex =)

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/24/2006 08:41:00 PM``

``Wednesday, March 22, 2006``

POS, GUitar LeSSoN, MiniStRy

hmm.. let's see... a day full of interesting things happened... jasmine came to my place then we played guitar for a while.. before going to church for our POS practice... went there... did some warm up and learn a few steps then the 2 of us have to leave le... cos we are meeting kun for guitar practice... anyway, i lend my guitar to jasmine since she wan to learn and i only need 1 guitar... so i lend mine to her...

then we were practicing guitar and of course learning new things from Kun... then after practicing for about 2 hours like tat... we started to talk about alot of things... on cellgroup... and wat we learn from outside... and many interesting things... sharing some testimony... hmm.. it was a great and enjoyable time... then Kun teaching us how to pray.. and wat type of praying are there?? how should we pray and trust God... yeA!!

then after tat... Kun started to study.. the jasmine and i decided to go over to 900 plus that side to buy bubble tea... hmm.. then as we are about to order.. my phone rang... then it was calling from one of the sister... from usher ministry... i am starting my ministry this sunday... i didnt expect the call... but anyway, this sunday, i need to reach church by 7.30am.. which means... by 5.30am... i need to get up from my bed.. or i will be late... hmm... plus... i need to wear formal... so now, need to go shopping... hmm... this call is a bit too sudden la... but nvm... need to learn how to adapt waking up at 5.30am... half an hour than usual... but alot of difference you know... hmm... i think i waking up even earlier than going to school... haha

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/22/2006 08:36:00 PM``

``Monday, March 20, 2006``

POS

Today, went down to ngee ann for POS meeting... hmm.. gt to know lots of new people... hmm... we played some ice-breaker games... it is quite fun when everyone is saboing brother aaron.. haha.. so in the end, brother aaron had to do forfeit...hmm... then after tat, we had praise and worship... and we really prayed for very long for our POS and new batch of students joining us... and we also prayed for ngee ann... then after tat, we started to discuss about our cheer... but it didnt took us very long... cos after a while, everyone started to fellowship... haha.. then saw my sec sch friend there... so we end up playing together... haha... we were holding hands in the room -_-''' haha.. hmm... but i already some of them there already before hand...

then after tat, went for interview... at bugis tat side... then during the interview, i realise that one of them was also from CHC... hmm.. the country is too small, go everywhere also see will church members.. haha =) then after interview, went to bugis to walk for a while... then dunno what to do.. so went down to IMM to get some stuff... haha..

hmm... today, at least i have try to memorise 2 verses le.. word for word.. jia you!! =) too slow le la.. haix.. =(

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/20/2006 10:34:00 PM``

``Sunday, March 19, 2006``

friendship connection

hmm.. today, our cg had 5 friends.. wow!! okie.. anyway, had service about faith... then after service... we went to food court to eat la.. then lijuan's niece also was there... so we started to play with her as usual... hmm... so cute!! really.. if you see her.. you know y i say tat... okie.. then after that, gerry need to go back to church, then jasmine going to meet her friend.. while yuhong went for guitar shopping... hmmm.. he also going to learn how to play the guitar... maybe our next up-coming guitarist... haha.. then left with me, lijuan and shi en so we went to park lane... to go and play photo hunt and Dadona.. then after tat we sat at the mac to chit-chat until about 7pm.. haha.. dunno y, we have so many things to say... then lijuan went home... while shi en and i went to PS to continue to go shopping... then until almost 9 then we left..

hmm.. shi en wanted me to buy platform shoes... haha.. another one wan to change my image.. maybe one day, my image will be changed totally by her... and lijuan.. haha.. okie la... i need to go and print my guitar song sheets le.. so tat i can practice tml... JIA YOU!! =) good nite... bye bye.. dun miss me hor.. even though i know you will... hahaa

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/19/2006 11:03:00 PM``

``Saturday, March 18, 2006``

first time playing guitaR for CG

haix.. hmm.. actually when i was practicing with gerry and kun, i was quite nervous... cos honestly, i dont think i will play well and able to lead the cg in worship... anyway, i played worship for cellgroup today...but surpriseingly, i dun feel nervous when i was playing during cellgroup... the only thing is my playing is really too soft le... need to practice more to make it louder... and at times, when the cg's voice almost able to cover my guitar sound le.. and i find my playing is kind of messy cos i think only i know when is my 1st down stroke... arrgg... really disappointed with myself... and i kinda of felt bad leh... then i didnt lead the cg well in worship... if Kun were to lead, i think the cg will be better... hmm... nw, should spend even more time to practice my guitar le... haix... juz feel tat.. such a guitar is given to me as a birthday gift but yet i dunno how to make full use of the guitar potentials to make music...

plus juz now during cg, i think for the first worship " I could sing of your love forever", i think at least i can catch it.. and maybe at least there are some rhythm... compared to "amazing", i think i destroyed the song... and i actually missed a few chords... and my strumming is also kind of horrible ba... dun wan to write about it le la... all i can say is i am really disappointed with my own performance today...

then after cg... we were playing with lijuan's niece again.. haha.. she is getter cuter each week... then after a while, some left le... then leaving me, yuhong, kun,jas and seng chong... so we decided to go down back to 5th floor to continue to play the guitar.. then lijuan brought her niece down also.. so we stayed there until about 11pm.. before we left and went to take cab home.. and you know wat?? today is party time cos it is friday so it is quite difficult to get cab... in the end, no choice, we called for a cab.. then i reach home almost 12.30am... okie la.. need to go and sleep le.. cos tml morning still need to go for bible studies... good nitex.. sweet dreams..

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/18/2006 12:53:00 AM``

``Thursday, March 16, 2006``

celebrated my birthday with my 2 deaRs

haha.. today, really enjoyed myself.. i went out with ting and joyce... again.. the 3 of us... talk alot of craps... and took alot of pictures... hmm... see wat they gave me??

then we went pasta menia to eat after that... for lunch... want to eat?? yes!! that me?! enjoying my food... but good thing doesnt last... haix... they dun allow me to finish my soup.. and they decided to do something else.... haix... jurong mean jurong... all jurong sec students like to play such things... and such i am also one of them... nw, it is my turn to get sabo =( it consist of cheese, mushroom soup, chilli, salt, black pepper and the tacol sauce... i think... how is the taste?? hmm... maybe you can try it one day.. haha.. then you will know...

and then we also took alot of photos... but if i am going to post all there... i think it will be flooded plus.. we went to take lots of neoprints too.. haha... wow!! this is me and huiting... hee hee..

this is huiting, me and joyce... the 3 of us.. hee hee..

that my mum called up.. saying my dad cannot come back to singapore to celebrate my birthday.. haix.. expected le.. if he knows that he cant make it... why he wan to promise me last nite?? breaking my hope again and again... haix.. 3rd year, he is nt celebrating for me le... but i still have my friends..yea!! anyway, my sis bought a PMK shirt for me.. haha... wonder how she knows when she doesnt read my blog.. hmm.. okie la.. cant write anymore.. it is time for me to go n practice my guitar le... bye bye... good nite... and thanks everyone..

the shirt that my sis bought for me.. =)

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/16/2006 08:57:00 PM``

19 years old

on this day, 16th march 1987... a cute little child was born... that is me!! haha.. ops.. think many people is going to throw up.. haha.. but nvm... i find myself cute can le.. haha..

this photo was taken i think when i was 1 yr old... and now?! oH NO!! i am getting old.. i am already 19...

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/16/2006 08:46:00 PM``

very touched ~ it's my 19th BirtHdaY

started the day with my napfa society club.. after i had our meeting.. they started to sing happy birthday song to me.. wa.. quite happy la.. cos i mean i didnt really know them for very long yet ma... hee hee..

wow!! i was really touched by some of my cellgroup members.. cos actually yu hong msg me and ask if i wanted supper cos he and jasmine are in jurong west church for supper... then after tat, my mum initially dun allow cos so late le.. but when my mum allow me to go down and meet them for supper.. i received yu hong msg that... he say they are outside my house le with the supper.. i didnt really suspect anything cos i thought it was just normal supper only..so i went to open the door and the SURPRISE came when i open the door... i saw soo eng, jasmine, seng chong and yuhong... wa!! i almost in tears le.. cos at this time at this hour...12am.. they appear at the door step with a cake... and 19 candles on it..

very nice rite? it is a chocolate cake.. anyway, they sabo me back.. they made me took out all the candles using only my mouth.. haha.. but really very touched by their actions.. hmm.. then they asked me to guess what present they bought.. hmm.. i didnt know of course.. but they say it was in my wish list inside my blog.. okie.. haha.. anyway, in the end.. i gave up for jasmine and soo eng.. cos i cant guess.. this is wat they gave me.. and on it, it has my name "van" hee hee.. okie.. i shall wear it for tml's outing and on cellgroup on friday.. my blessing..

then yuhong said tat i haven guess wat he bought for me.. so i was thinking and in the end... i named most of the things in my wishlist.. and jasmine said.. the present is inside one of them that i said.. -_-''' haha.. cos i listed almost everything.. but in the end.. i still guess it is guitar... dunno.. maybe sixth sense.. but he wasnt holding anything.. so jasmine asked me to check if it is in my kitchen... but not possible cos i was the last person who went to the kitchen.. haha.. then yuhong asked me to go out and find... if i can find.. then it is mine.. so i went out.. and i saw the guitar bag... wow!! didnt expect to receive a guitar for my birthday.. =) cos guitar is not cheap itself..

this is the guitar he gave me.. cool rite?? hmm.. and he told me that this guitar is chosen by... my guitarist cum guitar teacher - Kun... wow!! hmm.. then gerry asked to play worship for cg this fri so i am going to use this guitar to play.. so need to get used to this guitar.. =)

thanks everyone for all the presents and the surprise that you all have given me... i will always remember this day.. GOD Bless all of us =) !! really felt the love that they given to me.. at this hour... and soo eng and yu hong has to work tml.. yet.. they still come and give me this surprise.. love you all =)

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/16/2006 12:53:00 AM``

``Tuesday, March 14, 2006``

sleeping too much

i have been sleeping too much le.. morning wake up at 11 when i slept at 11 last nite.. then woke up.. after taking my breakfast.... then i chat with adrian on msn.. then went back to sleep again.. cos i was very tired... haha.. seems like i am feeling more tired when i am spending my day at home rather than going out with friends.. then after tat.. in the evening went to my grandparents house for dinner.. before dinner... i slept again... haix.. i think i am spending the whole sleeping ba... then on our way home, my sis told us a joke..

when she was young, she remembered going to the hospital once and she walked past these 2 nurses talking... and their topic was about a patient having cancer and is going to die... but becos she is still very young n doesnt know anything yet.. she thought it means that when the nurses "cancel" your name from the list then you will die... so she feel like staying in the hospital is very dangerous.. haha.. she actually mixed up "cancel" with "cancer"... cannot blame.. still young.. haha.. okie le.. bye bye.. going to watch my anime liao.. then maybe if tired.. i will go to bed early.. haha.. sleep again.. =p

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/14/2006 09:29:00 PM``

some catch-up with friends

oh no!! i juz feel like i am a pig.. haha.. i am sleeping more and more each day ever since sch holiday started... and i can juz sleep the whole day.. reply people's msg then go back to sleep again... a bit of no life.. haha.. but then my ears are in peace... hee hee.. cos everyday i am at home.. but then maybe is becos i am always at home.. and nothing to do... nw, i dun even feel like talking at all... watching tv with my family.. but i will juz sit on the sofa.. and watch... dun have the energy or mood to talk about anything although my brain thought of wat i have to say.. haha.. but lazy to open my mouth.. hmm..

anyway, last nite on msn... i was chatting with soo eng about somethings that we are thinking of doing la.. hee hee... then i had a long chat with janice also (shaun's sis) then we were chatting about somethings.. haha.. very funny la.. and some people... ops... are we gossiping?? hee hee.. for us to know.. for you to find out.. haha.. okie.. then she also told me somethings... hmm, she ask me to go town today.. cos she will be in town.. then maybe we can go for coffee.. haha.. see first ba.. maybe go and look for her later.. haha =p then also talk to hong ming... wa.. didnt know he also became a workaholic le.. haix... after sch.. straight away go to work le... hmm... thought of meeting him for lunch de... but then he seems to be very busy with his exams and work... hmm... nvm, maybe can do some catch-up with him after he finish his exams ba...

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/14/2006 11:16:00 AM``

``Monday, March 13, 2006``

dreaM CaR

this morning.. woke up.. supposed to go to sentosa today but in the end, it was cancelled =( cos some of my classmates couldnt make it... so i got nothing to do today... but guess what i found... my dream car.. yeaH!!

looks cool rite? this is the TOYOTA Previa 2400-16v VVT-i ... it is a 8 seater car... hmm... wonder when can i be able to get this car... but the sad thing is this car cost almost $95K. OH NO!! where to get this money?? now.. muz aim to get my licence by this year.. hopefully... hee hee.. then at least i can start to learn how to drive my dad's car... and it has a special feature tat you can fold all the 8 chairs and make into 1 single size bed.. izzit tat cool??

i saw another car which is quite nice also.. this is a TOYOTA Picnic 7-seater

hmm.. this car has 2 electric power socket so which means i can use lap top in the car... haha.. but they didnt talk much about this car... hmm.. actually, kinda of like TOYOTA cars... cheap and they are lasting.. =) nvm, i shall continue to survey and dream of my car in 4-5 years down the road.. okie, maybe i will blog again tonite.. going to spend some time with my guitar now =p

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/13/2006 11:56:00 AM``

new image

actually, for the past 2 weeks.. i had nothing to do.. and i feel like going out but then no one to pull me out.. so in the end, stay at home better la... since i was alone at home... i juz sit in my room and started to do some reflections... then i remember someone told me that with a more lively blog... i will feel happier each day i look at it... but i cant remember who.. but now.. of course, i remember who told me tat de.. haha.. so i decided to change my blog skin to give it a new look... nice?? i also dunno leh.. wat do you think??

after blogging for so long.. this is still the first time tat i am using such a colour cos my blog's background is always black de... nvm, i shall have a change and adapt to this colour ba..

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/13/2006 11:11:00 AM``

``Friday, March 10, 2006``

new guitar string

today, after npcc.. then i went to meet kun earlier... cos we are going to Ranking, it is a musical shop which sells lots of music instruments.. and today i bought new pick and new guitar string..
hehe..

==> my new guitar String

==> my new pick .. hehe

then after tat... went over to the coffeeshop for dinner with kun.. then soo eng came to join us.. followed by desmond... then gerry came after a while... then yuhong also came.. haha... so in the end.. we had fellowship before cellgroup meeting starts.. then lijuan's niece was in her house... so before the cellgroup starts... we were playing with her.. haha.. she is getter cuter day by day..

==> cute rite??

hmm.. i think tat all for today... time to think how to make my blog more lively.. when my blog is lively... maybe my life will be happier.. maybe.. =)

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/10/2006 11:22:00 PM``

``Thursday, March 09, 2006``

why do i like to talk so much??

my dad came home around 8 plus.. so although i went out with chin lim they all.. but then i try to be home before 9... then trying to be wat they wan me to be.. anyway, i was watching tv with them... since the last time... which i tink before years back ba... and i kind of enjoy it... no scolding.. then the show was on this part.. where the girl ran away, and her parents were thinking who are her close friends and who to contact.... then the gal's mother said "amy" then continue the gal's dad... "amy is her primary sch friend, she is sec 3 already".. haha.. then advertisement le... so i turned to my parents and ask them who will they call if i were to got missing... haha... my mum played along and came out with some names... but inside these names, she managed to get a few names then i am close with la.. hee hee.. then my dad gave a comment.. "if you run away, then why should i bother to find you?" this is only a joke then he takes it so seriously... haix.. why did i open my mouth...

going to be 19 soon in other few more days... so gotta learn not to talk too much.... and dun come out with stupid joke... and learn how to keep everything inside you... and not showing them out... in this world, you are going to live this life on your own... either you can survive a not.. depends on you... and silence is golden... and nowadays, i also hardly talk on phone or talk to friends le... all i do is face my computer... or juz sms people... less talk = less misunderstanding = less scolding = more peace =)

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/09/2006 09:46:00 PM``

=[bored to death ]=

sometimes, i dun understand human- referring to myself... when i am on sch term... i am always wish for sch vacation... and now when i am on sch vacation... i wish there were sch.. haha.. maybe cos i have nothing to do ba.. dunno..

these few days, i have been staying at home most of the time... staring at my 4 walls... and my lap top... cos nowhere to go.. also lazy to msg people to go out... haha.. anyway, i stayed at home.. to surf the net the whole afternoon.. then went to church about 3plus.. to meet Kun to learn guitar once again... hmm... new skills learned... muz have confident in my playing.. yea!! then play until 4 plus... then some of the SOT came to look for Kun and ask him about guitar... wow!!

then after tat.. came home... took a bath.. then went to meet joyce, kah wee and chin lim for dinner... then of course, as we are eating, we are settling some npcc things... hmm... once again i am so committed into npcc again?? haha.. haiz.. looks like it is juz me.. dun even know what i really wan...

hmm.. okie la.. i think i will end here for the day.. and get ready for a brand new day tml... NPCC SERVICE DAY.. haha.. but i not involved.. juz going down to jss to be a slacker for the day.. haha.
good nitex =) sweet DreAMs!!

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/09/2006 08:23:00 PM``

``Wednesday, March 08, 2006``

][ i need more activities now ][

it is kinda of boring staying at home all day.. dunno wat to do.. but the good thing is.. my ears are resting in peace.. haha.. cos everyday i also at home... to cover up for next week... cos next week, everyday, i also not at home... haha.. i think.. anway, went to jin hong's place to play guitar today.. wow! great.. then been a good gal, i went down to my grandparents' place to keep them company... haha.. me, good gal?? like real only.. haha

of course, i think i spend more of my time watching hunter X hunter anime today... haha.. supposed to work for my god-ma today but then the document haven reach her office.. so dun need.. haha.. a few of my aunts offered me a job.. tat is to do free lance for them to send documents from this place to the other place.. all over singapore cos since they say since i like to run around.. then i can work and run around singapore at the same time.. cool rite?? hee hee..

hmm... shall stop here.. cos i have missed half an hour of my show le.. oh no!! bye bye.. sleep early.. =>
btw.. who will win tml morning at 3.45am??
Arsensal vs Real Madrid = ??
Liverpool vs Benfica = ??
Milan vs Munich = ??

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/08/2006 09:14:00 PM``

``Tuesday, March 07, 2006``

=( wat did i do again? dad, wish you are at home

haix.. i also dunno wat i do again... today, early in the morning... supposed to meet kw and chin lim... but in the end, i overslept...anyway, then went back to jss.. cos need to settle nyaa thing... and i also apply for it... yeaH!! looks like more advantage is coming up the way... then went down to Home Team NS to check on the air pistol thing... cos we are bringing the sec 2s and sec 3s there... but of course, i check it out for myself also... hee hee.. then i can learn 1 more new skill... rite?

come back home... i have done wat i always need to do... my mum still can come and dig out some things to come and scold me... suddenly, she come into the room and say, from now on... she dun wan to see me once i come home... go to my room.. close the door and use my lap top... then wat she wan me to do? sit outside... open my mouth then get scolded again?? wish my dad is in singapore... then he will help me.. wat type of unreasonable request?? then i rather come home late... if not come home early... then go and get my beauty sleep... hee hee... sleeping is good.. *ops* sound as though i am like a pig.. haha.. dun talk about it... later i gt high blood pressure... later i died of heart attack... haha.. hmm... *thinking* dun think so la.. i still so young... where will get these?? but seems so old... this year will be the final year that my age is a '1' in front *sobs sobs* dun talk le about this le.. talk about something happy..

Team Singapore has done it again... they have gt the first Gold medal and is now rank 2nd... and you know wat? ever since this competition started... Singapore has never gt any gold medal before... so are they great?? hee hee =)

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/07/2006 08:54:00 PM``

``Monday, March 06, 2006``

7th Asia Swimming Champions 2006

wow!! Finally, the 7th Asia Swimming Champions is here once again.. and this year, it is held in Singapore.. hee hee.. hmm.. our Team has done Singapore proud in many competitions.. i believe they will do their best for this competition too.. Let's look at the medal table..

MEDALS TABLE
Rank	Country		G	S	B	Total
1	CHN	China	6	4	1	11
2	HKG	Hong Kong, China	1	-	-	1
3	KOR	Korea	-	2	1	3
4	JPN	Japan	-	1	1	2
5	TPE	Chinese Taipei	-	-	2	2
6	SIN	Singapore	-	-	1	1
6	UZB	Uzbekistan	-	-	1	1
-	INA	Indonesia	-	-	-	-
-	IND	India	-	-	-	-
-	KAZ	Kazakhstan	-	-	-	-
-	KUW	Kuwait	-	-	-	-
-	MAC	Macau, China	-	-	-	-
-	MAS	Malaysia	-	-	-	-
-	MGL	Mongolia	-	-	-	-
-	OMA	Oman	-	-	-	-
-	PAK	Pakistan	-	-	-	-
-	PHI	Philippines	-	-	-	-
-	PRK	D.P.R. Korea	-	-	-	-
-	THA	Thailand	-	-	-	-

hmm.. although we are only holding 1 bronze medal.. but it is very good already comparing to so many other country with none.. especially with strong competitions like Japan,China, Korea, Hong Kong.. to get medal is hard.. but our team has done it.. so let's go down to Singapore Sports School to support them.. how to go?
Here is the link:
http://www.asiaswimchamps.org/swimminglocation.htm

They had done well on first day *clap clap clap* Let's continue to cheer them on =) YEah!!

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/06/2006 12:34:00 PM``

``Sunday, March 05, 2006``

O.o student's Day aGaiN o.O

wat did i do today? went church in the morning... then after tat... went to foodcourt to eat and fellowship as usual... we stayed in expo until about 2.30pm.. then ah seng, jas, kaiyan and me... went to bugis to shop.. haha.. anyway, it is after exams le ma.. then after tat shi en and lijuan came to bugis also.. but didnt join them la.. cos seng chong, jas and kaiyan leaving le ma.. then lijuan say that they will be going home also.. so all went home lor...

then the 4 of us came out with many stupid jokes.. haha.. and make fun of something.. haha.. then on the mrt... we are laughing until almost going to get stomachache le.. hmm.. very enjoyable day..of course.. haha.. and now have more conversation with kaiyan.. we realised tat kaiyan is really good at squeezing through.. haha.. most of the time.. she already in front.. then we are still behind.. haha.. then we also talk about future plans of opening shops.. and run the business.. haha.. then on our way back to jurong, on the mrt, we came out with the idea to buy a piece of land to build our own house... haha.. great dreams but no financial support.. haha..

hmm.. then we also thinking about how to spend our holiday... thinking of some activities to enjoy this holiday.. yea!! okie la.. gtg le.. my cousin called up... going to meet up with her.. hee hee.. Have A eNjoyabLe Day tO aLL!! Bye Bye =)

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/05/2006 06:01:00 PM``

``Saturday, March 04, 2006``

10km walk

hmm.. this morning... jssnpcc.. has the 10km walk.. then i thought i will end early.. but in the end.. it end quite late.. but i left early la.. cos need to go for bs.. but i am really very sticky lor.. so i went to my grandma's place to bath... but still i didnt make it in time... hmm.. then during cellgroup.. we played game of which team can eat faster... hmm.. although we lost but then i enjoyed the juice that i made.. juice freak!! haha..

my legs are hurting me... oh no!! think too long didnt walk so far le.. then suddenly walk so far.. haix.. so many things is happening... when will i get into my right mind to make the right decision??? i am feeling tat i am really indecisive at the moment... haix.. nvm.. dun bother... dun worry, be happy!! yea

hmm... i thinking of something.. but dun wan to say it out first.. cos i also dunno if i really will go and do it... maybe yes, maybe no, maybe i dunno... haha =) okie la.. i very tired le.. tml need to wake up early to go church.. sleep tight!! sweet dreams... and dun miss me.. hehe =)

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/04/2006 11:59:00 PM``

``Friday, March 03, 2006``

what you wan from me?? who can i trust??

juz came back.. then kah wee called up.. say officer-in-charge asked me to call him... then he saying tat he wan to see me more committed into npcc... then he talk about my another friend who is not really committing.. and may wan her to step down... then he also talk to me alot of things... i wish i can commit more... but when the passion is gone... it is not so easy... so many activities... i am already so committed in the last sem which end up affected my studies so badly... then how much more does he wan me to commit??? np and np and np... where is my fire??? how to commit when the flame is blown off by some idiots...

hmm.. actually.. i thought i can trust him... but then he is doing some things which now i dunno who to trust in npcc.. is there really a person i can trust there and say how i feel on everything??? possible??? i really dunno... all i feel is everyone is trying to stab on each other to climb to the top... wat i can say is i am disappointed lor... and i will not trust them anymore... not even one.. cos i dunno who is acting and who is not... seems to fake... this side telling me he will not bother about my religion le.. the other side went to tell my officer tat i have cellgroup on friday.. and my officer wan me to make arrangement.. pls... stop acting... i will not take watever you say anymore... you wan to act.. i will accompany you... stop controling my personal life!!! if not even i am going to regret for the rest of my life... i will leave!!

God, teach me what to do? I am really lost... =( *sobs* *sobs*

come back.. then my mum ask me to do this do that... when my sis is sitting inside the computer room playing with her com... wat is the problem with her? cant she ask my sis to do it? sec 4 this year already... i really wish camps.. when i dont need to be at home.. i can be outside.. looking at the beautiful skies and stars... see the sea waves and listen to them when i am near the sea.. it is the most relaxing place... and definitely will be the kind of places tat i would go.. if i ever go missing... being alone is the best.. n quietest is the nicest place to be in...

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/03/2006 10:53:00 PM``

It's student's Day!! yea

today... went to K box with jas, seng chong and kaiyan.. hmm.. we actually still gt call others de.. who are students but then most of them not free.. so in the end.. only the 4 of us lor.. but it was quite fun... we went a little wild.. haha.. hmm.. it is also first time... seeing kai yan sings..yea... and we sang quite along today... from our generation to the old generation to the future generation?? haha..wat am i talking about?? oh.. becos.. who knows.. maybe inside us, one of us may be the next project superstar? haha.. hmm.. okie.. i am thinking too much le..

anyway, it is a great to relax... plus it is after our exams le..

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/03/2006 10:46:00 PM``

``Wednesday, March 01, 2006``

now too free

hmm.. after taking my dinner... looking at my lap top.. felt so bored.. so now gt too much time... dunno wat to do.. haha.. then practice my guitar le.. so staring at my lap top... hmm.. juz now... was chatting with kun on the phone.. on guitar... and wat we did during the week.. and interesting things happening in our lives... then chat with yuhong in msn... about? lan games la.. haha.. cos nw i holiday le ma.. but muz make sure i dun get addicted again.. hmm.. wow!! a great achievement... since that time... i didnt touch dota le... hmm.. maybe i forget how to play the game again.. haha..

then we gt nothing to do.. so jasmine put lijuan's niece's pic as her display pic.. tat she took the other day.. then i changed mine to lijuan's niece's pic but when she was yonger.. then soo eng wanted the pic.. so i send to her.. then she put it as her display pic.. so i decide to change.. then i put the one which think juz born? haha.. end up our display pic.. seems to show her growing up stage.. haha

hmm.. tml meeting kun in the afternoon in church to learn guitar... what else? make ham with salad for my breadfast? hmm.. good idea... eat healthy.. nvm.. maybe i should go down to my grandparents place.. cos my grandfather is ill =( haix.. hope it is not serious...

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/01/2006 11:00:00 PM``

exams over

finally, exams are over!! cant believe tat i actually studied 30 hrs each for each paper.. hmm.. even O levels tat time.. i also didnt study until like tat.. haha.. anyway, today's paper.. okie la.. but... i know how to do.. but forget some points.. arrgg.. in the end.. i use my own words.. haha..

now, exams finish le.. feeling abit weird.. cos become dunno wat to do... cos for the past 2 weeks.. i have been following my time-table.. now nothing to follow.. instead sitting in front of my lap top.. downloading patches for dota... haha.. and chatting on msn... hmm.. time... can take the time.. to really brush up and practice my guitar.. and i can finally watch my japanese anime.. =)

hmm.. juz nw talking to dear on msn.. then after she ask me to call her cos her brother come back and need to use the com le.. so talk to her on the phone for quite long... cos so long didnt chat with her le.. hmm.. so she suggested to meet up on friday afternoon... then one of the day, she ask me to organise again.. the 2 of us plus another one more... then 3 of us can again have a good time for ourselves and sit down to chit chat.. cos we dun hide things from each other... but normally unless the other 2 party uses force.. cos 3 of us have the same character... tat we dun like to burden people with our problems.. and we tend to keep them to ourselves.. haha.. no wonder the 3 of us are dear..

-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``3/01/2006 08:09:00 PM``