``Sunday, February 26, 2006``
babyology
today,once again, i am blessed with a bag of breakfast from Fandi kor kor... anyway, i shared my breakfast too.. cos i cant finish so many... so i had 2 hotdog bread... hmm.. so i left one for lijuan then the other one, i kept for jasmine... cos although i told her "zao qi de niao er you chong chi" and she overslept but still i decided to keep it for her... hee hee... then i gave kaiyan the donut cos she wanted it.. then i took my share le.. so waiting to see who wants them... then today, managed to book the whole row of seats although there were so many peopel in front of me.. then i also dunno how many seats we need.. then i happened to see qi zheng standing that the same place looking for seats... so in the end... i gave the seats to him.. cos i also dun need so many seats... haha.. then saw May, then gave her the muffin and the fish ball cos she say she is hungry and haven take breakfast.. haha... that how i distribute my breakfast today... =)
lijuan brought her niece to church... she is very cute leh... haha.. and everyone wants to carry her...and taking her photo.. haha.. superstar of the day... hmm... but she is very guai leh... hardly cry de... babyhood is the best cos all you do is eat, sleep & play... no worry or anything... but then i also learn actually babies are very smart... if you promise them something, make sure you do it... cos they knows... then today, first time.. i ever make milk in the MRT... haha.. cos normally, i do it at home de... not a bad experience.. can learn.. haha "babyology" comes from the word "theology" haha.. LAME!? but learn some new skills from lijuan how to take care of babies and more about babies.. haha.. new knowledge... and dun lie to them.. cos dun think they still young, dun understand, actually, they know wat you tell them... so be truthful.. anyway, lier dun go heaven.. haha =p
then we went to eat japanese food today with the cellgroup... hmm.. and the pricing was quite reasonable.. then we went to walk around.. then went to ntuc to shop around.. hmm.. it was quite some time that i didnt shop for baby things which we used to in the past... to hang things on our bags.. haha.. anyway, found some cute things again.. haha.. okie.. i know.. baby stuff are all cute.. haha.. hmm.. then after tat.. lijuan need to bring her niece home.. and it's time for me to return home to go back to my booksology.. haha..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/26/2006 06:30:00 PM``
``Thursday, February 23, 2006``
juz dun understand wat she wants from me
haix.. me here struggling in my studies... but yet.. no one knows lor... tat y i dun like to stay at hm to study de.. i study, she also not happy... she start scolding me for the little things she is not happy with... when i dun study.. she also gt something to say me.. then i really dun know wat she wants from me lor... everything i do, she also not happy... i am juz vending my anger here but i am not doing anything cos after i write everything out.. i will be fine le.. as i am used to it liao.. cos i really cannot remember when is the last time that she is happy with the things tat i have done... so at home... talk less = less trouble... doesnt really seems to be working.. but still i prefer not to talk... stay in the home will save alot of trouble for me.. =)
feeling better le... or maybe is the songs that i am listening to... always remember to honour my parents.. and humble myself..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/23/2006 10:44:00 PM``
``Wednesday, February 22, 2006``
blessed with goodies
this morning.. actually.. wanted to sleep later de.. but then lijuan's sms became my alarm clock for the day.. but it is okie.. so i woke up early today then went for a run again.. hee hee... but today didnt run alot cos my leg is hurting once again... haix.. like a old grandmother like tat.. here injured there injured..
then since i had some time.. i started to study.. then went down to meet lijuan for lunch... hmm.. then she gave a bag full of goodies as a encouragement to my exams.. from her and May... hee hee.. looks like studying is not lonely afterall.. cos i gt my ipod & the goodies to accompany me.. haha..
hmm.. okie la.. dunno wat to write le.. need to go back to my books... striving for 30 HRS..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/22/2006 03:15:00 PM``
``Tuesday, February 21, 2006``
wat a surprise?
ytd.. when i was talking to my friend... then she thinking of going for friday's nite service... cos it is a extra service and it is not on our service day.. then she suggested that... maybe we can go down to expo in the afternoon then study there lor.. hmm.. then i was quite okie with the idea but it is with my parents.. how am i going to tell my parents?? cos they will not let me go de.. by the time i reached home.. it will be almost 12 le..
anyway, i took up the courage to ask my dad first... then decide whether to go anot.. and surprisingly... my dad didnt say NO immediately... he asked wat time will i finish the service.. and he offered to fetch me from expo back home if he is free.. wow!! first time.. i heard this.. cos my parents are always against me going church on weekdays.. dunno why.. yet.. this time.. my dad agreed...
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/21/2006 11:58:00 AM``
``Monday, February 20, 2006``
great achievement
hmm.. i think for those people who know me for very long.. today will be surprise.. first time.. i follow my personal time-table so strictly.. haha.. i actually didnt wan to follow de.. but i forced myself to wake up at 10am this morning... and continue to wat i have to do.. anyway, second achievement of the day is i beat my personal time timing even since i stop swimming classes:
BASED on 8 laps(length)
attempt 1 : 16:45
attempt 2 : 14:30 (new best personal time)
wow!! muz continue to improve my timing to get my timing in the past back..
then today.. i also really sit down to study okie.. but okie la.. gt talk to shelin on the phone also.. hehe.. actually chatting about something de.. then dunno y.. we started talking about the service ytd... then discussing to go for friday's svc anot.. cos the next day gt paper..
cant believe myself that i actually studied 6 hrs today.. although at different timing.. and i still can swim for 1 hour and play 1 hr of guitar.. great.. did so many things in a day... hee hee.. muz continue to strive on.. I BELIEVE I CAN..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/20/2006 09:52:00 PM``
am i being selfish?
hmm... i have this classmate of mine.. he keep on wanting to borrow my notes to study.. but then i didnt really wan to lend it to him cos if i lend him my notes... then i cannot study anything le... plus he wan to borrow for about 2 days leh.. then wat am i going to study in these 2 days when my paper is on sat??? plus... i know tat if i going to lend it to him.. he is going to delay lor.. cos he will give excuses of forgetting to do this and tat.. then by the time he can return me.. i think i can throw them into the bin le.. cos it will be sat liao... haix... i really leh..
am i being selfish of not lending him my notes?? i juz feel bad not lending my notes to him... but i really have no choice cos i need to study for the paper.. if still gt time, i dun mind.. but there is no time left and there is so much to study.. arrgg...
studying something i dun like is really a torture.. nvm... ENDURE!! Jia You!!
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/20/2006 05:10:00 PM``
``Sunday, February 19, 2006``
time to get serious
i have no more time left.. it is time to get serious with my work already.. if not i will be able to do well... haix.. jia you jia you jia you!! I believe tat i can do it..
anyway, wat i can say about today's service... amazing, fanastic, great...
today, although i have planned my time-table.. but like wat juan expected.. i am not able to do it.. cos i reach home around 6pm.. haha.. ops... so i really have to sit down and plan my time-table once again and make sure tat i will follow my time-table... then i also quite guai today... haha.. cos after prayer meeting.. i didnt go for fellowship.. went home to study instead.. haha... i muz continue with this thinking... juz concentrate on my studies for another 2 weeks.. then i can enjoy my holiday le.. =)
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/19/2006 06:48:00 PM``
``Friday, February 17, 2006``
talking on the phone only.. hAhA
today.. is the start of my holiday.. yippy.. but sad thing is exams coming le.. arrg.. and i haven start studying yet.. dun have the mood to study leh.. how?? anyway, i woke up almost 11am like tat... then after tat... stay at hm.. do my own things.. then sitting on my bed to rot.. until around 1plus.. then went down to POSB.. then settle some personal bills... haix... then decide to go down to ah ma's place.. cos so long didnt go down le.. then my mother say they miss me also..
hmm.. i brought my lap top there.. so in the end.. play games there.. haha.. then my grandma gave me $10.. hehe.. but then i find that the time passes very quickly today... then around 6plus.. chat with lijuan on the phone until about 7 like tat.. cos i need to go and take my dinner le.. then after tat.. i was watching tv.. then my mum say time to go home.. so before i got into my car.. yuhong called.. so chat with him for about 20 mins.. then after tat... my hp flatting le.. so reach home then called him again.. then chat for another 1hr.. haha.. then now we are still msging... haha.. today.. is a different way of communicating.. dun need to meet de...
my grandma gave a comment.. .you like doing big business like your daddy... keep on talking on the phone... haha.. no lor.. cos i learn from them de... eating dinner.. hp also ring.. so juz happen tat my hp knows how to ring only ma.. haha.. wat am i talking about... hmm.. dunno.. nvm.. haha.. okie la... better think of something to do now.. cos after today... i need to really study le..
muz try to follow the time-table that i have created myself.. but need to go through checking to see okie anot first then can follow... hee hee.. hopefully, my GPA for this sem can get higher than last sem.. =)
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/17/2006 11:05:00 PM``
things cleared
hmm... juz nw jason called up.. then we chat alot something in agm la.. then after tat ... audrey called up then talk about the same thing.. .so in the end.. decided to conference cos they wanted to tell me the same thing... then after tat... as we are talking, we also talk about stupid stuff and craps la.. then after tat... jason say he tired le.. then i continue to talk to audrey until now.. wow!! it is really very long lor.. cos i was on the phone since 12 plus with them until now.. haha..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/17/2006 03:36:00 AM``
``Thursday, February 16, 2006``
Napfa Society AGM
Hmm... firstly I really wan to thank God that everything can run so smoothly today.. actually i was quite worried this morning.. cos i need to reach church by 8pm and the program that i had plan was until 8.30pm.. then i was asking how am i going to do it... but i dunno why... my agm ended quite early.. around 7.15.. we ended and of course.. we had some speech and talk out sessions and last but nt least.. photo-taking sessions...
i am really happy.. WITH PRIDE WE LEAD.. cos today i think my seniors had clear all the misunderstanding between themselves which i was really happy about.. and i am so bad because i made my ex-president cry when we delicated "peng you" to the old committee... and as we move into the chrous... i gt my current presient n ex-vice president to present her a bouquet of flowers.. haha.. i am too smart.. n i also gt something for ange who is one of the pioneer of the club as she wasnt really been thank so i did it for her n she was quite surprise... in the end.. i made everyone happy... =)
at first i was kind of dishearted when i heard some bad comments about the agm tat i have done.. and my morale went down.. but i told myself.. no matter wat.. i have planned it... juz act everything out as planned... at least i have done my part.. but in the end.. i receive more praises than comments... thanks for everyone's help through this agm especially to my agm committee when we hardly able to meet but yet we came out with a successful one.. GREAT!!
then my ex-vice president gave a very touching speech especially he apologised to ange and they hugged together.. and he and zi wei also shaked hands n hug together le.. hmm... i hope this will be a new beginning of our new committee... but i need to leave le cos i need to rush to church le ma.. but i really hope tat everyone has enjoyed the AGM..
Without God, i dun think i am able to take a cab and reach church so fast..
my time-table has been rejected by lijuan.. so sad.. haix.. need to re-do again.. hmm.. nvm.. i shall re-do and hand in to her on sunday ba...
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/16/2006 11:10:00 PM``
BIS gt A grade
it is already 12.35 in the morning.. but i still cannot sleep yet.. cos there is so many things to do.. before our agm of our club... i am excited but at the same time scared... today, as i was sitting in the lecture hall LT73A.. looking at the VolleyBall AGM ppt... i suddenly juz felt that i didnt do well as a organisor for agm.. there is so many things tat is not done yet.. hmm.. i always can i will make this agm well tat my seniors can take it as a memory but yet.. i feel tat... i have not really done my job... and i am scared to disappoint my seniors...
Father, i juz pray that tml everything will be great... there will not be any crop ups and my seniors will enjoy the show... i also pray for the sound system.. so that the music is nice... Amen.
next, my BIS group project gt A for it... hmm... God is really great... cos when i was doing this project... i couldnt really spent alot of time with my groupmates especially when i need to prepare this agm and at the same time... i was practicing hard for the chingay parade... i wasnt listening in class cos i was too tired after all the things and i still have to go for npcc... but i found out tat i have the whole nite to do the project.. so by the time i finish part of my work... i left with about 2hrs of sleep... yet.. i didnt feel asleep in class although i was tired.. Thank God for the energy & strength tat He has given to Him at that period of time.. =)
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/16/2006 12:34:00 AM``
``Wednesday, February 15, 2006``
Happy V Day
hmm... this morning... woke up late.. haha... too tired le... anyway, ytd... gt sport and wellness then we were playing netball for the last time.. hmm.. my class was still very on in playing and we really enjoyed playing with each other.. hmm.. and of course... we made new friendship..
then went home to change and bath first before going to meet lijuan, juliana.. cos we need to go out for some reasons.. haha.. hmm.. then went to suntec to eat... but then i was very late meeting them la.. cos i went home ma.. cos i need to settle some agm stuff before i go home..
then we left suntec around 10pm.. then lijuan was chasing me h0me.. but i know that i will not reach home in time de so i call my father.. cos i know he is with his friends outside to drink... then i called my dad and told him that i will go down to join him.. hee hee.. anyway, since young.. i have been joining him in these activities.. then we reach home almost 12... then did some stuff then went to sleep le.. cos i was very tired by then... hmm.. better go and do something before i forget.. hee hee..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/15/2006 09:57:00 AM``
``Tuesday, February 14, 2006``
my 2 seniors
haiyo.. i didnt know tat my seniors are really good in nagging me leh... hahaa.. cos i injured my knee i think about close to 1 month ago and now.. it still hurts... then i really dun have the time to go and see a doctor... from the start, they have been asking me to go and see a doctor but i dun wan.. firstly, lazy.. secondly.. think my leg shouldnt be a problem la.. but i think they will continue to nag at me until i show them my medical report for my leg.. hahaa.. cos i am such a monkey, jump here and there.. plus knee is still very important to me.. cos i need it for swimming.. i know.. i will go and see the doctor one day.. but dunno when...
hmm.. i really appreciate their concern for me... cos they are really the 2 seniors have been very concern about me.. one of them some more is my "da jie".. he he.. then i have many wonderful seniors though... and i really see the love as a big family in the club even if there is some problems right now..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/14/2006 12:06:00 AM``
``Monday, February 13, 2006``
shouldnt have gossip
i have alot of mixed emotions now... i also dunno wat i wan... alot of things are also beyond my control anymore.. hmm... at first... i dun really like this person after many things tat happened la.. but i have to forgive and forget... then continue by many unhappy things happening to those who are involved and affected... although i shouldnt be involved.. but i also dunno y i was involved in the end... haix... then i even talk bad about him...
then the person juz called me... cos i called him and ask him to come down for the practice for our agm.. then he told me tat he will come down for the agm is because he is giving me face as the organiser for the event... but in future... he will not come down for the club anymore.. unless i call him to come down.. i felt so bad... it is like... although i dun really like his attitude towards this matter... but it's seems to make my heart heavy... tat i am feeling guilty... i felt touched by his words.... i knew too much things...
today, i was juz sitting on the sofa.. then this question came to me... why do i blog for? will blogging going to help me solve problems? why cant i share the problems with my family or friends? wat is the fear in me? then.. i though of this answer... maybe i should stop blogging then no one will know... but possible anot?
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/13/2006 10:53:00 PM``
time management
haix.. i really need my time management... 16 days to my last day of exams le.. yet i am not prepared leh.. how how how??? i need to have self - discipline la.. hmm.. will i follow my time-table if i am going to make one?? dunno leh.. dunno feeling so weird.. come to sch at 11am then end at 1pm.. haha.. tml lesson only 3-5pm.. worse.. hmm.. think of some program to do.. if not i will be bored...
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/13/2006 04:46:00 PM``
``Saturday, February 11, 2006``
still trying
hmm.. juz now around 11 plus.. lijuan called me and talked to me.. but somehow, i feel tat i have exploded to her... and at that time, i have some napfa seniors around me and they were shocked to hear wat i am saying.. becos i am always so happy so lucky and always coming out with stupid jokes when i am with them.. hmm.. i also dunno how she know tat i am still not happy with my parents.. haha.. she gave a comment " dont think you laugh then i will think tat you are nt angry anymore" haha... anyway, then after tat... talking to her.. i felt better but juz dont wan to admit to her.. but dun need to say.. she also will know de lor.. haix..
then came home... tried to talk to them la.. although i tried but then my response to their question is like i nt happy like tat.. haix.. dunno y.. i already trying hard le.. then my parents wan to know wat lijuan told me.. but i didnt tell them much lor.. i juz tell them can dun ask me.. then after tat.. my mum talked to me and ask me if lijuan was someone who i respected and trusted alot.. then i look at her.. haha.. hmm.. wan to know answer.. ask me lor.. =p then tml, my auntie giving us a treat but then i nt going.. and told my mum le.. so she asked y.. then i told her it is lijuan's birthday and i will be home late.. then she say okie.. becos it is her birthday.. then i was thinking in my heart.. like tat also can ar? but still need to reach home before certain time lor.. hmm.. tml will be a tiring and fun day.. whahahaha.. =p wan to know y.. find me lor..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/11/2006 09:03:00 PM``
how did can i open up
firstly, i should have some trust from you.. if nt forget it.. i will say anything no matter how much you have forced me.. or even put me into hardship.. if i am really not willing to say.. it is hard to make me say unless you have a way to deal with me.. and currently, there is one person..
secondly, the person must be someone who i will respect alot.. if not even if i tell you.. will be very surface.. cos i dun like to burden people with my things when i know tat everyone of us have our own problem.. others maybe worse than me.. so keeping to myself is the best solution..
i know they are my parents and they are just concern about me.. but if they dun show biasness towards me from young.. i will not be this way, i became so independent is all trained up by them... my father.. when i was young, in a year.. how many times do i see him.. how many times was he in singapore when i celebrated my birthday..things only started to changed when i was in sec 4.. izzit abit too late? still remember when i was pri 6 going to sec 1.. upon receiving my results that i went to NA, my mum stopped talking and bother about me.. until she saw my results in sec1 with all A.. if all they wan is me to study, then juz forget it. it is not me.. find my sister.. think it is a better choice.. i am sick and tired of everything..
Father, tell me wat to do? i have no more energy to carry on.. l juz feel like letting go..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/11/2006 08:32:00 AM``
my heart is shut
ytd.. had my assignment walkthrough.. hmm.. actually the paper end at 7pm de.. but then the paper was quite easy thus i finish within 45 mins.. then i rush down for cellgroup...
then ytd was hong ming's birthday... then after tat went to eat with the cellgroup.. then i left with soo eng at about 11... hmm.. although i know that i will definitely going to get scolding from my parents... it is standard de.. but anyway, we took a cab back... when i reach home, i realised they has locked the door.. then my parents off their phone... when i was about to leave and go to my grandma's place.. my mother opened the door... then after tat... my dad went *&^*%$&%#&%&$^&^ dun remember wat they say le.. then they wanted to talk to my cgl.. but couldnt find her.. so i called lijuan.. then my dad talked to her... hmm.. from the time when my father talked to lijuan, my heart is already shut..
i believed tat if simple things like tat they also need to call my friend to ask.. and i am no longer the small kid.. then my heart is already shut.. y wonder to tell them so much when i dun get the simple trust i need...
last nite.. i actually cried myself to sleep.. but i know that my heart is once again harden.. and not able to open so easily.. at first.. in the past.. i will not open up de.. until i gt saved.. then i started to learn how to open up to my parents and talk to them.. but after last nite's incident.. i no longer know how to talk to my parents anymore.. or i should say... i have to say anymore.. watever is going to happen in future.. will lies in my hand.. all decision are made by me, myself and i...anyway, no matter wat i do, they are not happy with it.. so y do i wan to bother..
lijuan after tat msg me and ask me not to rebel.. i will listen cos i have nothing to talk to them le.. i will go home early if i can.. but i will still shut myself in the room... doesnt make any diff also.. haix.. i dunno la.. this morning.. i speak less than 5 sentences to my mum only.. and they are also incomplete.. then in the car.. when my dad drive me to sch.. he tried to make me talk.. and talk to me.. i also speak less than 10 sentence.. and every question he ask me.. i only go.. ah.. orn.. that all.. then i was listening to my songs.. nt really paying attention to wat he says.. cos i dont see a need to do that..
see lor.. how long before i will start to open up again.. depends.. maybe days, maybe months, maybe years... dunno.. but i know for sure.. i will never forget this day that they did something like tat.. if everything i wan to do also NO NO NO.. then keep me alive on earth for wat? there is no joy, no fun..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/11/2006 08:23:00 AM``
``Thursday, February 09, 2006``
touching movie & my feels
hmm.. today after i went for OOP class.. then i went to watch movie "I not stupid 2" with jac, shelin and ivan.. wow! the movie was really touching lor.. the story line is sometimes wat we are children are thinking.. when sometimes our parents juz scold us & nag at us... they didnt even bother how we feel.. then ivan also cried especially some of the parts when it is happening in our families.. hmm... although sometimes when you get a award they will be happy but they will then comment tat it will not bring to anywhere... hmm.. i juz feel tat why do parents always think of wat is good for us and not wat we want.... when we tried to reason out with them.. all they juz need to say is " you are in the wrong, still dare to argue back".. (happened in the movie also) and in the end.. whenever my parent scolds me.. all i do is keep quiet cos no point arguing.. no matter wat, i am in the wrong... tat is y.. since young.. i dont like to change about my problem cos i dun see a need when i share my problems in the past with them.. they will say there are people who is worse than me.. so i juz keep everything to myself.. thus, since young.. i have train myself to be independent...
i found 1 part in the movie that is actually also going on in my family... when parents talk to us.. becos we has nothing to say... all we did was hm, ar, orn... haha.. my friends are also saying the same thing..
but it is also since i went to church when i started to try and open myself up... to share my problems.. actually, at first.. to share was hard... but i had to made the first step.. so i tried and i have done it.. =) but there are things tat.. i will still prefer to tell you, my buddy, my blog.. hahaa.. okie la.. dun talk about it le.. if not no end..
anyway, after tat.. we went around bugis for a while to look at things and at last bought lijuan's present.. then went to meet lijuan for lunch.. then went down to unit.. hmm.. i dunno leh.. but i juz feel tat the fire is getting smaller le.. i no longer have the same type of passion as the past anymore.. haix.. maybe becos of the people inside tat has made me lose my fire... or the cadets tat i dunno wat to do to them anymore...
then after tat.. i went to meet yuhong again to buy hong ming's present.. then we went somewhere else to find something but until now haven find yet.. muz try to find it tml..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/09/2006 11:17:00 PM``
so sad
hmm.. ytd.. when i was waiting for yu hong at the buona vista mrt... i was sitting there at the plateform.. then after tat.. i saw a pigeon flying in then after that.. the mrt came then the pigeon wanted to get out but then in the end.. the pigeon bang into the mrt.. and drop into the track.. very sad rite? haix..
then went down to bugis to buy hong ming's present.. then went to see wat we can get for lijuan's birthday.. anyway, she also know wat i going to get for her de lor.. hahaha.. *hint*
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/09/2006 09:24:00 AM``
``Wednesday, February 08, 2006``
less stress
hmm.. alot of things has happened in the club... and becos of agm.. i was kind of very stress... becos to make a good agm.. i really need to think and consider alot.. especially... people whom has taught me alot of things in the club.. who muz be thank.... wat are we going to do to appricate our old committee who has done so much for the club.. then after tat.. heard at first i was the next up-coming vp.. then although it is okie la.. but abit shocked.. and not really prepared.. plus... i think they are better people in the club who is deserve to be in the position lor.. then now.. dun need to think so much le... cos i am nt the up-coming vp.. as after considering that i am still a year 1 student.. and they didnt wan me (their bao bei) to be unhappy and too stress up... and get bully.. haha.. cool.. but then... since when i became their bao bei?? once again.. asking this question.. hmm...
but the next up-coming president is someone whom my friend & i really respected alot.. and definitely... i am going to support her... our role model okie.. dun play play...
so now.. change focus le.. think about AGM enough.. the rest.. whether wat post i take.. doesnt matter.. cos position is juz a position.. if the team cannot work together.. any position also no use.. but with effective team.. everything can be done.. =)
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/08/2006 01:05:00 AM``
``Tuesday, February 07, 2006``
bao bei??
today, one of my module closed le.. so 3pm then start class.. but then went down to sch to meet jason and john to talk about AGM thing... then i forgot to call lijuan if she wants to meet for lunch.. still i am free.. cos i was surfing the net and playing some games la.. then after tat... went for my Sport & Wellness class.. hmm.. i find that my class at first wasnt happy that we got into netball cos it wasnt our choice but there is no other choices left... but then we seems to get along very well and became very excited about the game... normally, our lesson end at 5pm.. but dunno since when... whenever my coach wanted to release us early.. we tend to ask her to let us continue the lesson and even extend our lesson.. hmm.. although tiring but it was really fun... at least, we are enjoying it.. then went down for cca since nothing to do...
after the napfa test, went to KAP's mac to eat.. mac again.. with Kristen, Zi Wei, Ange, Audrey.. then Fu Kang came to join us later.. we were chit chatting... then i was listening.. then after tat.. suddenly, Kristen say... our bao bei will suffer lor.. then she was pointing at me.. then i look at them very blur.. although i know some part of it.. but then i was quite tired le.. so my brain wasnt functioning.. haha.. hmm.. since when i became their bao bei? hahaa.. nvm.. then halfway, i went home.. cos really very tired le.. then still need to go over to my grandma's place...
reach there le.. saw my uncle.. hee hee.. he came back from Australia.. but my cousin didnt come back =( then before my uncle left.. he gave me and my sister each person $10.. wow!! it is another financial blessing.. hee hee..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/07/2006 10:41:00 PM``
``Monday, February 06, 2006``
moi next year major !! module closed
hmm.. i having lesson Networking lesson now.. then this morning.. we are having our website demo.. haix.. but then my lecturer... forever, have alot of comments on our project la.. say we didnt follow the website rules and all those la.. haix.. nvm la.. anyway, this module is closed for my group already cos we present le ma.. so dun need to go for this lesson le.. hmm..
monday, start lesson at 10am..
thursday, end lesson at 1pm.. cool rite? hee hee..
then i gt receive the email from ngee ann of wat will i be major next year.. hmm.. i gt the major that i have chosen... E-Business and Web Application Development.. wonder wat we will study... hmm.. dunno if i can still be in the same class as some of my T08 gang anot.. haha..
yeah.. this friday i will end another module.. so not tat bad la.. plus.. i can spend more time to get my beauty sleep back which i have lost.. and of course... more time for me to go and shop for people's present.. need to use my brain to THINK... haha..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/06/2006 11:15:00 AM``
``Sunday, February 05, 2006``
extra money for new year
hmm.. cos it was during the new year period so my relatives came to my place la.. then they were playing cards.. then ytd.. when i juz came back from chingay, i actually stand behind my grandfather.. then he started to win money.. then after a while, i went to bath... then his card wasnt good... until i finish bathing then i came out le.. i saw the money tat he won earlier when i was behind him is finishing soon.. so i stand there to watch again.. then again he started to win money.. until my uncles told me to go and watch my soccer or go and sleep.. haha... funny rite? then after tat... at the end.. my grandfather blessed with with a bit of his winnings becos i helped him.. then today, after i came home... they were playing majong and cards la.. then i was in my room playing my computer games.. then after tat... when my relatives about to leave then i went out.. then heard that my grandmother was the sole winner for the majong game.. then she also gave me abit of her winning.. wow!! extra income for this month.. at least... i have some money le... yeah!! plus.. this week... there will be napfa test also.. so more income are coming in.. that is a good thing.. yeaH!!
time to go and have my first early nite of the week... need to get my beauty sleep back if not later... i dunno how long i can take it plus.. i need to study.. hmm.. talking about studies, i told myself to make a time table for myself.. but then i too lazy to make one.. and normally, i will do one without thinking and in the end, i still doesnt follow it.. haha.. a bit wu liao rite?
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/05/2006 11:06:00 PM``
amazing strength
today, delirious? was leading us in the praise and worship for our service.. the presence of god was great...
actually, this week was a real struggle for me.. cos i need to complete my projects and at the same time, i have to practice for chingay... so i didnt really sleep throughout the whole week... everyday, i am sleeping for like less than 3 hours.. but yet.. i dunno where did i get my strength to perform the chingay and even gt the energy to run during the parade itself... ytd.. after chingay, i came home around 12 plus.. then i sleep for a while only.. but i dunno how i manage to get the energy to pull myself out of the bed to go for service.. becos, i was really very tired le.. and my voice also change le.. then went down to expo, cos i was the first one there.. then i went to find Frandi kor kor... then he gave me a cup of drink, 1 hot dog bun, 1 chocolate donut and 1 chicken pie... then actually, i dun wan to take de.. but then he already pack le.. so i took it lor.. then li juan and jasmine came.. so in the end.. the breakfast, 3 of us took it.. as chinese gt a saying.. " zao qi de niao er you cong ci" hahaa.. then during service, i know i was very tired and i really wan to sleep le.. but when it comes to praise & worship... i am once again full of energy.. amazing..
then after tat... rush for make-up cell group with quite a number of strike force...then went down to Mr Choo (my lecturer house) ... then rush home.. cos all my relatives in my house.. hmm.. a busy day...
Father, i juz want to thank you for all the strength that You have given me during the whole week, i thank you for the successful performance for chingay cos there were alot of problems but then during the preview and actual show, everything was fine except for a small malfunction...
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/05/2006 09:49:00 PM``
``Thursday, February 02, 2006``
i am really tired
today.. ngee ann having open house.. haha.. hmm.. i had 6 hours break... at first i thought this 6 hours is a total waste of time for me to stay... might as well go home.. then in the afternoon, meet lijuan for lunch.. and after wat she had told me kept me thinking until i reach sch.. why am i behaving this way, wat are the reasons for a sudden chance inside the unit? it is becos this week... i am really busy and tired of so many projects and datelines are near... which has caused me to throw my temper easily? hmm.. i have to change.. cant go on this way... if not if i have greater stress... am i going to commit crimes? haha.. no la.. juz kidding... hmm.. juz need to control my temper... and i agree that my blogs for the past few days are horrible as i am showing the anger, unhappiness and many other things which doesnt seems to be a blog anymore.. so lijuan suggested that i change this blog to a forum.. haha.. hmm.. maybe can consider... haha.. but before that... i really need to clear this 2 projects...
time to reconsider do i still wan to hold on so many things? i am really tired... i have to study, complete project, plan the AGM for my club, plan events for NPCC, conduct training, go for training, conduct napfa test... i am juz waiting for my long break to come... mm.. i have not been speaking to God this few days becos of the project load.. but this cannot be a excuse... van, you have to learn how to manage your time well... =)
today, supposed to go for make-up cell group but then in the end.. so going for sun's de... but it was good in a way.. as i can more time to complete my project which due tml... hmm.. my 6 hours didnt go to waste in the end.. cos used the time to think while traveling and one of my classmate came to me suddenly today and talk to me on somethings which she wan me to keep it as a secret... hmm.. i was quite happy for her.. cos she is willing to tell me wat is happening to her.. okie la.. think time for me to get back to my project.. cya..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/02/2006 09:05:00 PM``
``Wednesday, February 01, 2006``
guys.. give me some time to think... stop forcing me!
why izzit that whenever my mind is about to come out with a solution to the problem... someone will come and throw 1 big project to me again and tell me to get it done in 2 weeks... then after arguing back.. then the person say he will do it.. stop getting into my personal life... wat time i am free and why am i not free is not for you to ask cos my parents dun even ask me those questions... plus.. you are definitely not someone whom i respect except becos of ur rank... if you are one whom i respect... i will not mind these little things but you are going beyond the limit...
i know there is this friend of mine.. was talking to me the whole nite... trying to stop me from thinking of giving up... but i really cannot take it le... i am not a bird in a cage then every thing i do in sch or outside.. i need to report to you... i am really tired of everything.. seriously, i thought of taking a break and leave quietly but yet... i can only say i am a coward.. cos i dun have the guts to do it and only can think about it... i am worried about my sec 4s level.. they are going to suffer if i dun fight the rights for them and there sure to be bias... but if one day, i can no longer hold on because the flame juz been blown away by the wind... i will say good bye & will never turn back again... if you know me well... if i am able to say it... means i thought it for very long le.. and when i made up my mind, no one can change it unless you are able to convince me tat my decision is wrong..
-Finding back my cheerfulness-
][-Van-][ ``2/01/2006 10:34:00 PM``
