``Sunday, January 15, 2006``

who will understand wat i am going through?

this morning.. went for service as usual.. then after tat stay for the bible studies.. then went to BK to eat... then took a taxi down to meet mummy and valerie to shop for new year clothes.. then after tat.. came home liao.. then at nite.. when my dad came back.. he came to my room and talk to me of alot of things... why am i going through all these? i am really going crazy soon... everyone is expecting me to be the best of the best.. if this going to continue... i am going to breakdown soon... sch.. cca... family.. pressure.. parents objection.. npcc.. friends.. projects.. committments.. with my parents going to force me to make choices everytime.. i think i am really going crazy... why cant i choose the way tat i wan to live my life? everything is been control.. i am also human...why did they come out with requests and questions knowing tat i cant answer and dun wish to answer them? i will explode de.. no matter how much i can hide from people on the surface... there are still people around me who can sense that i am not okie... some of my ex-cadets and current cadets.. they can really see through tat i am nt myself for a while le.. but i have been denying it.. but they also know tat no point asking me cos nt everyone will able to make me talk about wat is going on with me.. nt even my close npcc squadmates..

God, please come and speak to me wat should i do?

-Finding back my cheerfulness-

][-Van-][ ``1/15/2006 10:37:00 PM``

[..About Me..]

Name: VaNesSa taN
Bdae: 16/03/1987
Skool: ngee ann poly
CouRse: IT
E-mail: energy_mystery@hotmail.com (friendster n msn)

[..Wishing Well..]

  • GPA = 3.0
  • Personal Room
  • New Guitar
  • New Handphone -> N6280
  • Own Car?? Toyota
  • Bag -> clumpler bag
  • Clothes
  • Rippers Slippers
  • shoes
  • Mac laptop
  • go South Korea
  • get my driving license
  • guitar skills improve

    [..My Love..]

    shopping
    sleeping
    singing with friends
    cHat On MsN
    daydreaming
    gReEn CuShiON
    CHat oN pHonE
    LiSteNiNg tO MuSiC
    swiMminG
    friends
    family
    Usher Ministry 4S5
    Laos Team 06

    [..Memories of her..]

    November 2004
    December 2004
    January 2005
    February 2005
    March 2005
    June 2005
    July 2005
    August 2005
    September 2005
    October 2005
    November 2005
    December 2005
    January 2006
    February 2006
    March 2006
    April 2006
    May 2006
    June 2006
    July 2006
    August 2006
    September 2006
    October 2006
    November 2006
    December 2006


    • [..Laos TeaM 2006..] [..that's wat friends are for..]

    [..finale video 15 Days together..]

    [..Count Down..]



    [..Tag Me..]

    = Daniel Powter - Bad Day =

    = Fei Lun Hai - Yi Ke Ren Liu Lang =

    [..LaOs TEaM 06 Memories Creator..]

    ][ChEnG ChEnG][
    ][pEi XiN][

    [..BrOtHeRs & SisTeR..]

    ][JayMe - 4S5][
    ][Feng Ming - 4S5][
    ][Jing Xuan - 4S5][
    ][Rachel - 4S5][
    ][Huiming - 4S5][
    ][Jeff - 4S5][
    ][Xin Yan - midnite msn =)][
    ][Natalie - 4S5][
    ][beloved 4S5 - one & only][
    ][Charmaine - 4S5][
    ][Miss JuL - 4S5][
    ][Shirley - N339][

    [..Friendz..]

    ][Suliani][
    ][Gayithri][
    ][Esmund][
    ][Estee][
    ][JacQue|iNe][
    ][WeN][
    ][D04 SqUad 5][
    ][KaReEn][
    ][AdRiAn][
    ][Ern][
    ][JaniCe][
    ][HuI ZheN][
    ][Zi Wei][
    ][GraCe][
    ][EuNicE][
    ][TiVoNa][
    ][JoLeNe][
    ][HuI JiE][
    ][JiA XiN][

    [..Self Motivation..]
    To succeed is to stay focus on 1 thing

    Never run away from a problem. Face it or it will haunt you

    Every Morning, when I wake up, I treasure the innocence of being able to enjoy each day.

    [..Teaching..]
    Hebrews 5:8
    though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.

    Proverbs 15:1
    A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.

    [..Movies to catch..]


    Start: 31 August 2006
    Duration: nil


    Start: 9 August 2006
    Duration: 96 mins


    Start: 17 August 2006
    Duration: 100 mins


    Start: 24 August 2006
    Duration: 85 mins


    Start: 31 August 2006
    Duration: 113 mins


    Start: 5 October 2006
    Duration: 110 mins


    Start: 29 September 2006
    Duration: 125 mins


    Start: 26 October 2006
    Duration: 140 mins


    Start: 26 October 2006
    Duration: 105 mins

    [..Movies watched..]

    * The Lake House - 4 Aug 06
    * Click - 7 Aug 06
    * Dragon Tiger Gate - 7 Aug 06
    * Pirates of Caribbean (Dead Man's chest) - 19 Aug 06
    * Toyoko Drift - 22 Aug 06
    * The Break Up - 24 Aug 06
    * Snakes on a plane - 28 Aug 06
    * Little Man - 14 Aug 06
    * Little Miss Sunshine - 9 Oct 06
    * World Trade Center - 11 Oct 06
    * The Convenent - 09 Nov 06
    * Casino Royale - 26 Nov 06

    [..Linkies..]
    JSS_npcc
    hotmail
    NPCC
    Friendster
    guitar4Christ
    Christian Guitar Chords
    Guitar Pop Songs
    Usher Ministry 4S5
    Ngee Ann Poly CHC
    Ngee Ann Poly Napfa Society

    [..Credits..]

    [..Counter..]

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