``Wednesday, January 18, 2006``

wat bloging seems to me now?

i really dunno la.. everyday.. it is quite like a routine to update my blog lor..when i always say tat i dun wan to let anyone know about my problems yet i am writing my feelings on my blog.. van, wat are you trying to do?? can you tell me? where is the cheerful self of your??? hmm.. wat about today... i was really glad that napfa test today was really busy so tat i can at least forget all the problems first... but when i told my president something... you could sense tat she is really very upset.. i really dunno wat i wan for my life now.. it is in a total mess.. my result is real bad... my current situation is making me think twice before i move my next step... my friends are real busy with sch and project so didnt wan to disturb them also... i even had the thoughts of giving up everything i have now... i actually thought of something... but i dunno if it is going to come true becos of some reason?? anyway, i know tat God is using someone who has been continuously encouraging me these few days to let me know He is there... to let me feel the love of God.. hmm.. then another thing is.. these few days, i juz cant eat.. i dun have the mood to eat.. but dunno y... i juz had the feeling tat someone around me tat is nt happy about something or about me... hmm.. dunno y i will had tat type of feelings... but sometimes.. it is true.. anyway, i really exhausted le.. so i still need to do the upcoming AGM for my cca.. i wan to make it the best for my graduating seniors...

i juz wan to find things to do to keep myself occupied so tat my mind will not go wild... i am back to the past once again.. but at least.. the suicide thing doesnt come to my head... all i wan nw is to go running... run as long as i can... as though there is no end.. and of course.. the best will still be swimming... swimming under water, not coming up really allows me to think alot... although i remember tat there was this person who told me by going underwater will not solve any of my problems... but wat else can i do?? talk to someone?? can... who?? plus nt everyone is able to make me talk about my problems.. and the few who has the method to make my talk doesnt know anything cos i dun wan to tell them... my sec sch..no longer can make me talk anymore cos i nt their students... haix.. dunno la.. dun talk la.. talk it will make me breakdown again.. dun wan to let anyone see me dropping tears once again..

-Finding back my cheerfulness-

][-Van-][ ``1/18/2006 10:19:00 PM``

[..About Me..]

Name: VaNesSa taN
Bdae: 16/03/1987
Skool: ngee ann poly
CouRse: IT
E-mail: energy_mystery@hotmail.com (friendster n msn)

[..Wishing Well..]

  • GPA = 3.0
  • Personal Room
  • New Guitar
  • New Handphone -> N6280
  • Own Car?? Toyota
  • Bag -> clumpler bag
  • Clothes
  • Rippers Slippers
  • shoes
  • Mac laptop
  • go South Korea
  • get my driving license
  • guitar skills improve

    [..My Love..]

    shopping
    sleeping
    singing with friends
    cHat On MsN
    daydreaming
    gReEn CuShiON
    CHat oN pHonE
    LiSteNiNg tO MuSiC
    swiMminG
    friends
    family
    Usher Ministry 4S5
    Laos Team 06

    [..Memories of her..]

    November 2004
    December 2004
    January 2005
    February 2005
    March 2005
    June 2005
    July 2005
    August 2005
    September 2005
    October 2005
    November 2005
    December 2005
    January 2006
    February 2006
    March 2006
    April 2006
    May 2006
    June 2006
    July 2006
    August 2006
    September 2006
    October 2006
    November 2006
    December 2006


    • [..Laos TeaM 2006..] [..that's wat friends are for..]

    [..finale video 15 Days together..]

    [..Count Down..]



    [..Tag Me..]

    = Daniel Powter - Bad Day =

    = Fei Lun Hai - Yi Ke Ren Liu Lang =

    [..LaOs TEaM 06 Memories Creator..]

    ][ChEnG ChEnG][
    ][pEi XiN][

    [..BrOtHeRs & SisTeR..]

    ][JayMe - 4S5][
    ][Feng Ming - 4S5][
    ][Jing Xuan - 4S5][
    ][Rachel - 4S5][
    ][Huiming - 4S5][
    ][Jeff - 4S5][
    ][Xin Yan - midnite msn =)][
    ][Natalie - 4S5][
    ][beloved 4S5 - one & only][
    ][Charmaine - 4S5][
    ][Miss JuL - 4S5][
    ][Shirley - N339][

    [..Friendz..]

    ][Suliani][
    ][Gayithri][
    ][Esmund][
    ][Estee][
    ][JacQue|iNe][
    ][WeN][
    ][D04 SqUad 5][
    ][KaReEn][
    ][AdRiAn][
    ][Ern][
    ][JaniCe][
    ][HuI ZheN][
    ][Zi Wei][
    ][GraCe][
    ][EuNicE][
    ][TiVoNa][
    ][JoLeNe][
    ][HuI JiE][
    ][JiA XiN][

    [..Self Motivation..]
    To succeed is to stay focus on 1 thing

    Never run away from a problem. Face it or it will haunt you

    Every Morning, when I wake up, I treasure the innocence of being able to enjoy each day.

    [..Teaching..]
    Hebrews 5:8
    though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.

    Proverbs 15:1
    A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.

    [..Movies to catch..]


    Start: 31 August 2006
    Duration: nil


    Start: 9 August 2006
    Duration: 96 mins


    Start: 17 August 2006
    Duration: 100 mins


    Start: 24 August 2006
    Duration: 85 mins


    Start: 31 August 2006
    Duration: 113 mins


    Start: 5 October 2006
    Duration: 110 mins


    Start: 29 September 2006
    Duration: 125 mins


    Start: 26 October 2006
    Duration: 140 mins


    Start: 26 October 2006
    Duration: 105 mins

    [..Movies watched..]

    * The Lake House - 4 Aug 06
    * Click - 7 Aug 06
    * Dragon Tiger Gate - 7 Aug 06
    * Pirates of Caribbean (Dead Man's chest) - 19 Aug 06
    * Toyoko Drift - 22 Aug 06
    * The Break Up - 24 Aug 06
    * Snakes on a plane - 28 Aug 06
    * Little Man - 14 Aug 06
    * Little Miss Sunshine - 9 Oct 06
    * World Trade Center - 11 Oct 06
    * The Convenent - 09 Nov 06
    * Casino Royale - 26 Nov 06

    [..Linkies..]
    JSS_npcc
    hotmail
    NPCC
    Friendster
    guitar4Christ
    Christian Guitar Chords
    Guitar Pop Songs
    Usher Ministry 4S5
    Ngee Ann Poly CHC
    Ngee Ann Poly Napfa Society

    [..Credits..]

    [..Counter..]

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